


Like One of Your French Girls

by smallcroissant



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, artist! AU, jearmin reverse bang 2015
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-07
Updated: 2015-05-07
Packaged: 2018-03-29 11:10:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3894169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallcroissant/pseuds/smallcroissant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The night Jean and Armin host a big get-together with the friends they haven't seen in a while, a realisation is made about the beginnings of their relationship. </p>
<p>Or, the one where Jean first knew he was in love with Armin when he had artist-block in University, and Armin just so happened to offer to be his model to spark his inspiration again.</p>
<p>This fic is a tribute to Aurum's amazing Jearmin <a>art</a>!!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is for the Jearmin Reverse Bang 2015, and I was so fortunate to be the writer for Aurum's lovely art!! Everything they do is wonderful, and I was so inspired!! ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ
> 
> And while you're at it, you should check out all of the works that are in the Jearmin Reverse Bang project!! 
> 
> Everything in italics is a flashback to a couple of years ago, when Jean and Armin first met. Enjoy!!

Jean still wasn’t quite sure how Armin had managed to find the perfect date and time for a housewarming party that fit all of their friends’ schedules so that everyone could make it and see each other again. Everyone, from Connie and Marco, to Sasha and Eren— _everyone_ got a phone call from Armin, inviting them over for wine and dinner at their place. Since there was such a large party coming, schedule conflictions put a damper on the attendance rate. And because of that, Armin made it his personal mission to see to it that he would find the perfect, ideal date so everyone could come. Of course, that took a lot of time and patience; Jean was pretty sure that every time Armin’s phone would notify him of an incoming call or text, he’d audibly groan before answering. They reasoned, though, that the thrill of seeing their friends face-to-face again all in one room would outweigh the stress of party planning, so they trudged on before the right date was found.

After 5 years of seeing all of their friends periodically, both Jean and Armin felt like a get-together was in order, and they were willing to host. It was by some sort of chance occurrence that their new apartment would permit them to have such a large group over—calling it ‘Jean and Armin’s house-warming party’ seemed like the perfect excuse to call everyone up. They had lived in it for a little over 3 months, so it wasn’t like it was new to them. But no one had come to visit since, and that’s when they both looked at each other and thought it was high-time to try.

And now, they had finally done it—tonight was the night. Both of them were in the kitchen an hour and a half before the first guest was to arrive. Armin was busying himself with cutting a tomato for the salad, while Jean was standing adjacent from him, putting decorative rings on 15 cloth napkins. Jean had turned on some light, ambient background music to listen to whilst they worked, and it filled the apartment with the feeling of quiet intent. As Armin slid the contents of his cutting board into the big salad bowl, he glanced over at his boyfriend and gave a wry smile. Not really knowing what to do, Jean had just taken orders from Armin to tend to the decorations and let Armin take care of the food. He had to admit, his folding didn’t look too appealing. Armin looked a bit less than pleased.

“I don’t mean to be critical or anything, but you can’t just…shove the thing into the napkin ring like that, Jean, it will make creases,” He said before taking a step over to the other side of the kitchen. He expertly extracted the napkin and ring out of his hand, and then gracefully fixed the position of the cloth so that it looked nearly perfect. “How many did you do before this one?”

Jean watched the correction of his mess and groaned only slightly. Leave it to Armin to have mastered the art of table setting. “Uh, well…Like 6 or so? They’re over on the table already, I didn’t want to clutter the kitchen with it, so…Is it really that bad, Min? I mean, I hardly think our friends are going to care whether or not the napkins look pristine. Eren’ll just want to eat and you know how Connie is—“

“They aren’t that bad, I just want this evening to be perfect, I guess…” Armin interrupted, letting out a sigh before setting the thing down on the countertop behind Jean. “We’ve been planning this for what seems like forever, and I’m just really worried that it won’t go the way I imagined it. We haven’t seen anyone in so long, I just don’t know if we’ll be able to keep everyone together much longer, now that we’ve all moved on with our lives and such—“

Now it was Jean’s turn to interrupt. “Listen, Armin, tonight will be great. I know you want everything to go as planned, but…have you seen our friends? They’ll be just as happy to be here as we are to have them. It won’t matter how neat the apartment is, or what we’re serving for dinner—they’ll think this is perfect, and I want you to think so, too. I know how hard you’ve worked to get this all planned, and really, I can’t wait, but…You also have to enjoy it? Okay?” He lovingly pulled Armin close and rested a hand on the top of his head. “You’re perfect; everything you’ve done is perfect. You’ve got no reason to worry about how well all of this will go.”

It took a moment before Armin said anything in reply. “I…I know, you’re right. I’m…I’m sorry…” He broke the contact with a gentle nudge, and then turned away from Jean to go back over to his salad bowl. It was easy to tell by his body language that he wasn’t completely convinced Jean was right, though his words said otherwise. As Jean watched him start to cut away again at another ingredient for the meal, he bit his lip and silently hoped that whatever he’d say next would effectively resonate with Armin.

Jean stepped forward, content with the idea that another hug was in order, and wrapped his arms all the way around Armin’s middle from behind. Without even saying anything, Armin noticeably relaxed into the touch, but didn’t stop what he was doing. Together, their quiet breathing synchronised, as Jean pressed tiny kisses into the back of Armin’s shoulders on top of his shirt.

“I think—“ Jean began to say, before being interrupted again.

“Please just drop it Jean, okay? I’ll take what you said into consideration, really I will.”

“No, but what I was going to say was—“

“ _Drop it, please.”_ Came Armin’s rally back, and it sounded so uncertain and sad that Jean removed himself from Armin as he tensed. Although he couldn’t see him place the utensil down, Jean could hear it being set against the wood of the cutting board.

Instead of getting angry at the way this conversation was going, Jean quickly decided to take a different approach that he knew would be more effective for calming Armin’s nerves. “What I was _going_ to say is something different than what you thought I was, love. It had nothing to do with the party tonight, really.”

Armin, feeling a bit remorseful and interested, turned to face Jean. Already, he had a more relaxed expression than the one he was wearing before. He didn’t need to say anything to communicate that he wanted to know what Jean had to say—all he had to do was bite his lip and lean against the cabinet, still facing Jean.

“What I was _going_ to say is—you know, never mind, you would be bored by it, I should go back to pressing napkins or whatever.” And with that, he smiled wide and placed a hand on his hip very haughtily. It was a beckon for Armin to be more engaged in finding out what he intended to say.

“Oh my god, Jean, you know I hate it when you do this, you silly—“

“Well, I might be swayed into telling you, if you do me a favour…”

“And what kind of favour are we talking about?” Armin articulated the words jokingly, yet with a divine lovingness that made Jean momentarily forget what he had to say at all.

“You have to promise—“

“I promise.” Armin said in a way that made Jean think the answer had come to him automatically.

“Shh, no, you’re not listening to everything I have to say.” Jean placed his index finger to Armin’s lips. “You have to promise me that you’ll always see yourself the way I see you, as perfect as the day I realised I wanted to be yours, always—“

At that, Armin inhaled sharply, which threw Jean off guard. Was it something he said? Or was it what Armin thought he was going to say? He wasn’t certain on how to proceed, with such a reaction. Thankfully, though, he didn’t have to, for Armin spoke.

“Do…Do you mean, the day you drew me? I-In the studio, when we first met?” His voice was quavering and his hands were clenched together at his sides. “The first time I ever had my portrait drawn?”

Of course, it was the exact instance Jean had had in mind. “Well, yeah—how did you know? That was it, that’s when I realised I had to get together with you. That’s when I knew.”

At this, Armin scoffed and rolled his eyes in a way that expressed his own disbelief. “Then? Then, of all times? Jean, I was so _scared and afraid_ that day! How could you have possibly fallen for me, when I was quivering and shaking in my seat, unable to even make eye contact with you? I had no idea what I was doing—had no idea how to even BEGIN to handle you, how could you have seen that as an attractive trait?” And he was laughing now, but with that uncertain laugh that always portrays insecurities.

Jean just broke into a grin that told its own story. “How couldn’t I have fallen for you? You were sitting there, so afraid to even blink…It was probably the cutest thing I’ve ever seen, actually—your concentrated face, trying to keep the pose you were in. Anyone with eyes could see just how lovely you were…how lovely you still are…”

“Were you even a bit nervous around me? Didn’t I make you nervous?” came Armin’s response to what Jean had said. Living with Armin for 4 years was enough time for Jean to realise that whenever Armin ignored professions of Jean’s love for him, he was quietly thanking him. It didn’t take words to say it; they knew how the other operated, without any misunderstandings.

“Well, of course I was a bit nervous—maybe worried is a better word? I wanted to get you to like me for sure, and I was hoping my art would be enough to interest you. I didn’t want to mess up that, and not do you justice through my work. I think that, because I was so focused on the task at hand, my nervousness decreased with every pencil stroke.”

“All I did was sit pretty for you for an hour, how is that endearing?” Armin didn’t seem like he was buying it.

“And pretty you were, Min. You were the best model I had ever had.”

There was that scoff again. “Well, obviously, you and I remember that incident quite differently.”

“I guess so. It was probably the best day of my life, yeah.”

There was a pause—a lull in the conversation, and Jean was almost prepared for Armin to burst into tears. It took every fibre of Jean’s being not to reach out and pull him close, but he knew Armin wouldn’t want to have that. Not right now. Slowly, Armin’s hands unclenched at his sides, the palms coming to rest on the outside of his thighs gently. And with a tilt of his head, Armin slowly brought his eyes up to meet Jean’s, and he could see how curious they were—the longing they had to fully understand Jean’s previous statement. He didn’t look sad or scared or any of those things; there was just questioning and burning desire that had laid dormant for the 4 years they had lived together, as a couple.

Barely above a whisper, Armin then said: “Then I want to hear all about it, from your point of view. Tell me all about the way we met, and how you knew I was the one.”

And who was Jean to object?


	2. Chapter Two

_“Yo, Kirstein—you in here? I brought a friend, is that chill?”_

_Apparently, it was, because Connie barged in without waiting for an answer._

_Jean saw it all from his perch at a bench in the far corner of the room, where he was carefully trying to mess with an old sketch he had sitting around and didn’t care much for anymore. Feeling so uninspired recently, he was attempting to go through his old workbooks and bring out past drawings, trying to enhance them with newfound art skills and techniques. It was keeping his interest for now, but he found it a bit dull to just be sticking to stuff he already knew and drew before. He wasn’t sure how to get over this art block he seemed to be having, and with his deadline nearing so close, he was desperate to find some semblance of a solution._

_Connie frequented his workspace on a daily basis, but it wasn’t like it was a cool place to hang out in or anything—why would he have brought somebody with him?_

_But when Jean took a closer look and saw who was trailing behind him, realisation hit him pretty quick._

_Ever since he got this new office job downtown, Connie had been badgering Jean to meet his co-worker, Armin Arlert, who was apparently just his type. Jean wasn’t quite so sure, and wasn’t eager to find out, being not that interested in dabbling in romance when he had so much going on in his life right now._

_‘You’ve gotta meet him, dude. He’s practically made for you! He’s got Kirstein written all over him, I swear, you’d love him just from looking at him!’ He’d say, when they’d go out after work (or, in Jean’s case, class) to catch up and talk. ‘He’s super smart, really warm and sweet—just altogether a really nice guy. You could use a little love interest in your life. You always seem so stressed out…’_

_And Jean would always dismiss his concern with a wave of his hand—no, he didn’t need a boyfriend to get rid of stress. No, he didn’t want to get involved with some guy Connie worked with. And no, he didn’t want to be set up. He had absolutely no plans for meeting this Armin guy._

_It never really occurred to him, though, that Armin could come to him. And that’s exactly who was behind Connie the day he walked into the studio—Jean knew based upon the descriptions he had been given._

_It was obvious that he seemed a bit out of his element. Armin kept looking all around him as he walked, as if everything from ceiling to floor of this place was foreign, yet fascinating. While Connie just barrelled through the aligned desks and chairs between them and Jean, Armin carefully navigated himself around the seats. And the quiet steps he took, as if he was afraid he’d disturb anyone by walking, were perfectly poised and careful. It was not just his demeanour that lent him to appear delicate, but his appearance did, as well— the soft looking fabric of his jacket to the worn out, brown loafers he wore. And the hair that fell just above his shoulders seemed to float with his steps, balanced on air by the whim of his motion._

_Jean liked what he saw, there was no doubt about that. But he didn’t want to come across as if he was ogling, or anything equally creepy. When they both walked over to him, he just gave a sort of polite nod to him before looking straight at Connie._

_“Not that I don’t like to see you or anything—and god, don’t take this the wrong way, but…do you need something? I’ve got this big project coming up soon, have no inspiration, and kind of need to be left alone?” Jean wasn’t too interested in taking off time to go grab a drink and chill right now, he knew he had to get through some sketches tonight, if he was ever going to finish the assignment on time. He took the chance to look back down to the drawing he had been messing with. He couldn’t help the aggravated sigh that escaped between his lips._

_“Nah man, we don’t plan to take up much of your time. I know you’re busy and all.” Connie didn’t look phased at all. He had been friends with Jean long enough to know that he wasn’t blowing him off entirely. He did, though, move a little closer to Jean’s table to lean against it with his right arm, casually. “I just wanted to stop by with Armin and introduce you guys…After I’ve talked so much to both of you about each other, I thought it would be nice to actually take the time to have you meet face-to-face.” And with a devious smile, he looked over to Armin, who was not too far away from him._

_Armin looked like he was scrambling to think of something to say to join the conversation. “Uh, yeah Jean, it’s…It’s nice to finally meet you, I’ve heard a lot of good things from Connie.”_

_Jean, again, nodded in reply in Armin’s general direction. Every time he looked at him, his throat felt so dry—he wasn’t sure if he really could do much more than that._

_“Like…like, he told me about how well you draw! I think that’s pretty fantastic, I’m not very good at those kinds of things.” And he wet his lips gently before swiftly placing his hands behind his back. “What you’re working on right now, it’s…it’s—“_

_“It’s actually a drawing of my former roommate from a year ago. I’m trying to play around with the edges and enhance it with some of the skills I’ve acquired since then.”_

_“It looks really great, I like it a lot.”_

_Jean wasn’t really certain what to say to that, although he felt compelled to speak. He was flattered, really—he really was. But it felt so awkward to say so to someone like Armin, who was literally a stranger to him still._

_There was a bit of a lull in the conversation then, but nothing too awkward. It took just a few moments for Armin to speak again. “So your roommate posed for you? Do you do a lot of those types of drawings? O-of people you know, I mean?”_

_At least this was more comfortable ground than flattery—Jean was good with answering questions. “Well yeah, I like that, I guess. It’s a nice challenge, depending on your model. And it’s a pretty cool feeling to see how people react after they’ve sat for you, when they see what you’ve done for the first time. I like the reaction, positive or negative.”_

_Armin nodded a bit too eagerly._

_And there was that pause again. But now, unlike the last time they had stopped talking, Jean dangerously met eyes with Armin for a split second. He couldn’t help but smile when Armin nervously glanced away to break, as if the act of eye contact alone was indecent for them to be doing. It didn’t take much thought to realise that Jean’s pull to Armin’s personality was growing a bit stronger, and he didn’t know how to make it stop but to look away too._

_“Well, maybe we best be off. Armin and I are going to go watch the match back at my place tonight, and you’re welcome to stop by if you think you’ve had enough time chipping away at your project.” Connie said, standing up straighter from his perch on the desk and stretching his arms above him head. “Pizza’s on me this time, if that’s any incentive.”_

_“I’ll think about it, Connie, I really will.” Jean knew he wouldn’t go, though—it just felt right to say he would. Carelessly, he tossed his hopeless sketchbook onto the table and stood, ready to bid them farewell. “But I’m really glad you stopped by, and I’m glad I got to meet you finally, Armin. We’ll have to do something soon with all three of us.”_

_Armin breathed out a tiny “Yes,” as his cheeks flared a bit bright pink._

_Jean had leaned over and hugged Connie, then turned to Armin, not sure how to proceed. Thankfully, though, he didn’t have to—Armin stuck his hand out between them, which he didn’t hesitate to grab and shake._

_And as quickly and loudly as Connie and Armin had come in, their exit was swift and timely. Jean had plenty of time to get back to work._


	3. Chapter Three

_Time flew by without Jean really even noticing—two weeks turned into a month, and then a month into two. The deadline for his project had long since passed. There were new sketchbooks to fill and different approaches to take. But as the weather changed from cool to cold and the end of the year finally became a reality, Jean felt as much inspiration as he did a few months ago; next to nothing. He couldn’t seem to kick the obstacle of having an art block, and he was less than pleased with what he considered his ‘mediocre’ work._

_But Jean was no stranger to living life on the edge. That was how he tried to tackle his roadblocks, by letting it all unfold on its own. He figured that he would just have to simply not expect his answer to come flooding to him, but rather let it flow naturally. No use getting overly excited when everything had its divine way of working out. So, patiently, he waited for it to hit him. And it did, in a kind of way that he only felt lucky enough to experience. What ended up happening felt too good to be true, and from then on, his work improved._

_All it took was a visit from Armin Arlert to get him to passionately pursue his dreams again, and really begin to fully understand how he was going to do it._

_Jean spent nearly the entire day in the studio, when it happened—he figured he’d only stick around until about 6:30 before calling it quits. He had been chipping away at a fairly large piece for the whole duration of the class, and it was nearly killing him. As he glanced up at the clock on the wall to check how much time he had left, he heard the chirp of the front door of the studio being opened, and the quiet footsteps of someone making their way inside. He didn’t really think much of it at first, figuring it was probably one of his classmates coming back in to grab whatever they had forgotten—the place was getting emptier as the day came closer and closer to night. It had become almost automatic to him to just ignore things like that, since he figured he couldn’t afford to get distracted._

_It wasn’t until he felt the presence of someone right behind his seat and heard the sound of fitful breathing that he stopped what he was doing to look. Although they hadn’t seen each other since the day Connie brought him in a few months back, Jean couldn’t help but feel that seeing Armin in the studio felt…natural, in a way. It didn’t come as any surprise that he was there, even though it was completely unexpected. It was almost like he belonged, and he liked that._

_He looked just as he did all of those weeks ago—the bouncy hair, the soft features of his face. He was wearing a simple button-up shirt with a collar that was a bit wrinkled, and a pair of grey slacks that ended just above his ankles. When he saw Jean turn to look at him, he gave a shy smile and greeted him. “I hope I’m not bothering you, Jean—do you remember me? I’m Armin, Connie’s friend?”_

_“Armin, hey. Yeah, of course I remember you, how are you doing?” Jean felt like he said all of that in a jumble, but Armin seemed to understand what he was getting at._

_“I’m uh, you know…pretty well and all, I was just around this part of town and figured…I don’t know, I thought it would be nice to pay you a visit.” Armin took one step closer to Jean, twirling a button on his shirt front out of nervousness._

_“Well, I’m glad to see you, sorry that it’s been so long.” Almost self-consciously, Jean quickly flipped the cover of his sketchbook closed so that Armin couldn’t see what he was working on. Setting it a bit away from him, he turned to give him his full attention. “If you’re not in a hurry to go or anything, I could grab you a seat and we could talk for a few minutes?”_

_“I’m not keeping you from anything, am I?” Armin mumbled before looking around the room as if he were searching for something. “I don’t want to keep you from anything important—“_

_“No, no. There’s like, 15 minutes before they kick everybody out of here. I highly doubt I could’ve done anything productive in that amount of time. So, uh…let me get you a seat or something, hold on.”_

_As Jean got up to go grab a chair for Armin from a few desks over, he couldn’t help but feel completely out of his element. He was left asking himself why he was letting Armin have such an effect on him, but he couldn’t really come up with an answer just yet. He didn’t want to jump to the conclusion that he had a crush on him—he hardly knew the guy, how could he possibly be so enamoured with him?_

_Armin was grateful for Jean’s effort and profusely thanked him. He took a seat and crossed his legs, and to Jean, he didn’t seem as nervous anymore. Things were looking hopeful in that regard._

_They talked casually in an attempt to get acquainted with each other. After a few minutes of conversation, it almost became natural. Jean found it easy to speak to Armin, so he found himself leading a bit more. Armin took to nodding and smiling wide whenever Jean said something, which reassured him that he was doing at least this thing right. Their topics centred around what might have been considered safe territory: mutual friends, their occupations, the weather, and what their plans for the rest of the day were._

_“I think I might go home and try my hand at a few more sketches. I didn’t get as much done as I wanted to today—it couldn’t possibly hurt to do a little more.” Jean rolled his shoulders back in a sign of disappointment. “You know, I’ve been having a bit of a lull in the inspiration department lately, and it’s been getting increasingly hard for me to focus on any of the works I start. It’s like, I get going, but…but the flame dies soon after I start, and…and, I guess it just has been bumming me out a bit…” And he wasn’t quite sure why he was saying all of this, but when Armin nodded in response, he felt a bit better._

_“Yeah, I know exactly how that feels. A couple of times during my first years at university, I had that same feeling—like I couldn’t get motivated enough to truly care about the classes I was taking, so my performance suffered. It took a while to get out of that, but…but something will come along that will inspire you, I’m sure. And you’ll be as right as rain again, after it hits you.” Armin said, looking straight at Jean before averting his eyes to the closed notebook._

_And Jean wanted to be bold and tell Armin that he was pretty sure he found it—that it was right there in front of him, right there! But he held his tongue in fear of seeming too forward. The last thing he wanted to do was push a blooming friendship away with an ill thought-out statement._

_But he didn’t have to be worried, for Armin nearly read his mind._

_“…And if I can, uh…help in any way, I’d…I’d be more than happy to, Jean…”_

_Jean’s heart nearly stopped beating when Armin said that. Was Armin insinuating what Jean thought he was? Was this actually an invitation to ask if he would sit for him? Jean wasn’t certain, nor did he feel bold enough to ask for clarification._

_“You would? You’d be willing to do that…for me?” Jean stuttered out, eyes wide in disbelief._

_Armin nodded quietly before turning a brilliant shade of pink. “Not that I think I’m the answer to your art block or anything, please don’t think that’s what I am trying to get at here. I guess…I guess what I mean is, that…that I’d be willing to have my portrait drawn by you if you really thought trying something different would benefit you. I remember you saying you like to do portraits of people you know…like that one of your roommate you were fiddling with when I first met you!” His voice rose a degree higher as he tried to justify himself. “Well, that’s where drawing me would be different, because…because we hardly know one another yet, right? It’s not like I’m someone you see all the time—someone you’ve got a really good handle on, facially I mean? The experience would be different because you don’t know me as well as the other people you’ve drawn!” And at this point, Armin raised his hands up in a sign on excitement, like he thought he had concocted an elaborate, fool-proof plan. “I think it’s at least worth a shot, isn’t it?”_

_Jean was stunned. It seemed too surreal that an opportunity as fantastic as this was actually happening to him. The chance to draw someone as gorgeous as Armin was something he had only been able to dream about before. With his mouth too dry to say anything, he gave a solid nod to indicate that he’d be willing to try._

_And really, he had nothing to lose at this point._

_“A-alright, then it’s settled then! When would you like to start?”_

_Blinking back into reality, Jean said “Would something like next Thursday work for you? Here, at the studio?”_

_Armin gave an enthusiastic “Yes!” before giving a smile that nearly radiated warmth._

_They came up with a time for their next meeting before the building had to close. Armin helped Jean tidy and pack up his station before they walked out together. They went about the length of a block before they gave each other a fond goodbye. Armin parted with a promise to be punctual for the sitting, and Jean, in turn, expressed that he would eagerly await the day._

_It was only when Jean got home and settled that he realised he hadn’t even said thank you to Armin for offering to be his model._


	4. Chapter Four

_“You’ll have to tell me exactly what to do, okay?” Armin said while taking off his blue overcoat and draping it over a chair by the window. While walking over to the stool Jean had set up for him, he shook out his hair with a tilt of his head, and proceeded to roll up the sleeves of his collared shirt. Jean watched this all from where he was standing a few feet away, getting the last bits of his materials of choice together before they started._

_As Jean examined the point of his pencil, he couldn’t stifle a laugh that escaped from his lips. He didn’t mean it in a patronising way; he just thought it was cute that Armin was so worried he’d mess everything up. If anyone was to be concerned about ruining anything, Jean was pretty sure he’d have to. No matter how much experience he had under his belt, none of it felt like any sort of preparation for the challenge that would be capturing Armin’s essence onto paper. Jean wanted to make sure he would do the absolute best work he possibly could, but with how disappointed he had been with all of his other work lately, he wasn’t certain he would be able to._

_Armin took a seat on the stool and tried to get comfortable. As he bit his lip, he slowly said “If I told you now that I’ve never actually done something like this before, would that be such a bad thing?”_

_Jean shook his head no, of course, as he made his way over and took his own seat. He found that hard to believe, though—that no one ever had attempted to draw Armin seemed like a crime in and of itself. But he was more relieved to hear that information than anything, for it meant that Armin had no expectations for the quality of his work., and nothing to compare it to. That, and Jean would have the lovely prize of saying he had been the first to get his hands on working with Armin…but he tried to dismiss that feeling especially, so as not to get too flushed._

_“Never?” He said with a smile, as he adjusted the surface of his blank sheet of paper so that it rested properly on his knee. He tried to meet eyes with Armin and communicate to him that he had no reason to be worried or scared or nervous about having no experience being a model, but the message didn’t seem like it got over to him that well. “Well, I’m really not that good, but…”_

_“Oh, shut up Jean, you’re a perfect artist!” Armin said playfully, as he quickly waved the back of his hand to move a strand of fallen hair. After he had fixed it, he glanced over at Jean to see if he minded._

_“I haven’t started yet, so get completely comfortable right now if you want. And if you move a little, it’s okay, just try your best to….” Jean readied himself with pencil in hand. “…Hold still, alright?”_

_When he said that, he meant it to be more to himself than anything. But it was so cute to Jean that Armin noticeably stiffened when he was asked to hold still—as if he had to concentrate his whole body, not just his mind, to keep his position. Jean silently prayed that Armin wouldn’t avert his eyes too much to look at him. The last thing he needed to think about was whether or not he was making stupid expressions over how cute Armin was._

_And so he delved into his drawing, being mindful of the sharp edges of Armin’s jawline and the way his fringe fell by his shoulders. Jean fell into an easy pattern of glancing up and down from his model to the paper. Every time he looked up, Armin was still making that startled expression—like any sudden movement would destroy the whole process._

_After ten or so minutes, Jean took it upon himself to try to break the silence dangling between them. “I think I’ve done a pretty good job of drawing your jaw and mouth, so if you would like to talk while I work, I would totally be okay with that.”_

_Armin made a small sound of agreement before asking “Oh uh, sure, that sounds good. But…but what do you want to talk about, though?” With permission to relax at least his face, Armin looked much more comfortable.  
                “Anything you want, I’ve got no particular topic in mind.” Jean said as he started working on the crown of Armin’s head. “If…if you want to tell me a little bit more about yourself, I think that would be a pretty good start?” _

_“Oh, me? You want to hear about me?” And the genuine surprise in Armin’s voice nearly killed Jean. “Well, I’m pretty…average, I guess? I mean, my story isn’t spectacular or anything. I graduated and then went to work straight away…I’ve got nice friends and my own apartment…” He started to shrug, but caught himself before his whole body changed position. “…You know, just stuff like that. I’m just Armin Arlert, going through the motions, I guess.”_

_Jean found that hard to believe—someone like Armin didn’t just ‘go through the motions’ of life. No one did. He wondered if it would be too forward to try and deny that, but he wasn’t sure if this was all sensitive subject matter for Armin. Instead, he just said “You know, that’s nearly always a good thing.” He paused for just a moment, while taking a good look at the curve of Armin’s neck. “But I’m sure there are some things that you’d say define you, right? All those things you mentioned, well…they’re just things; they don’t really make up who you are as a person. Now, your preferences, well…that’s who you really are, right? So what are some things that you like or dislike?” And Jean prayed that didn’t come across as awkward-sounding as it felt._

_“Oh, my preferences? I…” He paused to really consider the question, and after a moment, this brilliant light flashed across his face. “…I guess I really like...cooking, and…reading?” Armin laughed nervously, seeming unsure of how to approach the subject of himself. “I do those two things most often, I guess.”_

_Jean had started rounding out the lines he had drawn around Armin’s shoulders, trying to make them look more relaxed than they actually were. After he finished both of them and had examined what he did, he found that he didn’t like it as much as what Armin was doing right in front of him—so he erased it, and did his best to start over, trying to copy Armin’s angles as best as he could for what they were. While he did this, he said “That’s really cool. I bet you’re a pretty good cook, huh?”_

_Armin sort of tutted before saying “I wouldn’t say that—not really. I’m not, by any means, a professional. But…but I have fun making the food I like, so there’s that much.” Caught in thought, he took a moment to pause. “I guess what I like best about cooking is…is that everything starts out exactly the same, for everyone. What I mean by that is, you’ve got all the same ingredients—the same ingredients as the guy next to you, right? And maybe you’ve even got the same recipe, word for word. But there’s so much leeway and so much variation in cooking—you could literally make a whole different meal from the same ingredients, with just a little variation in preparation or presentation, and it changes the whole dynamic of the entire thing! In a way, it’s sort of like life—I could interpret things this way, and you could do it another way, and yet we’ll still be making something good the way we want to do it, and it’s all ours to call our own.”_

_Jean had stopped drawing to listen to Armin talk—the words had nearly flown out of his mouth without any hesitation, and with no thought to how they would be interpreted. Armin had spoken honestly and truthfully to a question that could have been answered pretty simply. Jean was utterly stunned by how poised and perfect he had articulated the simple act of cooking, and had made it seem so elegant and deep. All he could do was nod in reply, too amazed by Armin to do much more._

_“…I….I don’t really know why I said that, but…but that’s how I feel. That’s why I like doing it, I guess…” And there was the uncertainty again—how deviously it crept back into his voice._

_“No no, that’s…that’s so cool, I like that a lot! And I can totally relate to how you feel. That’s how art is for me.” Jean spluttered out, meeting eyes with Armin. And this time when they connected, it felt more personal. “I’ve always seen art as something that everyone tackles differently, and that’s what makes it feel so good, you know? Because it’s unique and captivating—kind of like people, right? Kind of…like you…” And as soon as Jean said it, he wished he could yank back his words. Would Armin be alright with him making that connection?_

_Evidently, it was okay, because Armin got this huge grin on his face that showed all of his teeth. “You really think so? No one has ever called me that before…” Coyly, he looked down to the ground with a hard blush cutting across his cheeks._

_“O-of course I mean it, I…I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t…” And Jean hated how he was reduced to stuttering just because of his too big mouth and Armin’s genuine smile._

_And just like that, they fell back into silence—no other topic seemed appropriate to bring up. Jean went back to work, specifically with the shading, and Armin sat perfectly still with the lingering hues of pink still fluorescent on his cheeks._

_When the drawing was finished and Jean was able to step back and take a good look at it, he had to admit that he was pretty pleased. There, on the paper, was Armin—just as he was right before Jean’s eyes, in the flesh. It felt good to be satisfied with his work, and he couldn’t help cracking a smile. Too excited to keep it to himself, he stood up in a hurry and proudly turned the portrait around so that Armin could see for himself._

_Before Jean even had the chance to ask him what he thought of it, Armin responded._

_“Oh Jean, I…I look…You did….Jean, this is AMAZING! You did such a fantastic job!” He stood up and drew closer to Jean to examine the portrait closer. “Look what you did with my expression—it looks so stunning, I love it!” He clasped his hands together in glee, smiling all the while._

_Armin’s overjoyed reaction sent a wave of new emotion through Jean as he stood there, holding up his work. He couldn’t stop averting his eyes from the actual Armin, to the one on his paper. “Thanks, Armin. I’m glad you like it.” He mumbled, feeling more bashful by the minute. “You were an amazing model. I should thank you for even giving me the opportunity to draw you, I can’t believe it.”_

_He gave a little tut in reply, as if to say it was nothing. “I just hope that I was able to help get you out of your art rut…maybe give you some more inspiration to tackle on different projects? I’d love to see more of your work because it’s just so good! So…thank you, Jean.”_

_They exchanged a few more compliments back and forth as Armin started to gather his things that he had laid out on the desk close by. As he started putting on his jacket and slung his bag over his shoulder, they both realised that the moment they had both been waiting for had already passed and come to a close—that was it, and they wouldn’t have it any other way._

_Parting seemed so awkward, but it was necessary. Jean felt like he had to walk Armin to the door, and as they reached it, Armin stopped. Turning to look at him head-on, he boldly spoke quickly. “Maybe next time, we can…go out or something, o-or whatever, if you’re free and all, I mean. Uh…” He squinted painfully, not seeming too happy with his mangled attempt at trying to ask Jean out on a kinda-sorta date._

_All Jean was thinking about was how good it felt to hear the words “Next time” from Armin. He nodded furiously and said “I’d like that. I’d like that so much. But, um, I don’t think you have my number, so if you’d be so kind, I—“_

_“Oh, oh, right! Just—you can write it here.” He scrambled around in the large pocket of the overcoat and pulled out a blue flyer from what looked like a botanical garden. Jean took it with a smile and scribbled his number on the top._

_“Call me later this week and we can go out and do whatever you want.”_

_“As a date, or…as a date-date?” He asked cautiously—guarded, even. And Jean found that so compelling that he barely could choke out an answer._

_“Whatever you’re most comfortable with right now. But, if we’re being frank right now, I’d…I wouldn’t shy away from saying that, I’d like a date-date with you sometime, if you’d permit it…”_

_No words had to be spoken, and no nod needed to be given; all Armin did was open his eyes wide in awestruck wonder, and Jean knew that they both were totally enamoured with each other._

_And after that exchange, Armin took his leave by thanking Jean again for his time and talent. He exited with the door softly shutting behind him, letting the cool breeze waft inside the studio for just a moment. As Jean floated back over to his station, nothing could stop himself from feeling the rush of exhilaration that Armin gave him._

_The potential of being something more to Armin alone gave Jean the inspiration to draw and draw and draw for the next few months, with no sign of slowing down._


	5. Chapter Five

__“So…that’s it? That’s how you remember it going?” Armin’s voice was barely audible.

“That’s exactly how I remember it, and it’s as clear as if it happened yesterday.” Jean said with a shrug. The relief of getting it all out felt like nothing he had ever experienced before. He just hoped Armin would be able to understand why he had more vivid memories of the certain things Armin had said, and wouldn’t try to analyse it too much. His only intention for saying it all was to shed light on the best thing that had ever happened to him, and let Armin know how he had loved him from the very start for who he truly was. “And yeah, I know our experiences were different because we were two very different people back then, but…but that was still us. That’s our story. And I think it’s the most beautiful thing, and I’m glad I got to share it with you.”

Armin acted as if he hadn’t heard that. He was looking down at his two hands which were resting in his pants pockets, with each thumb hooked around the belt loops. With a heavy sigh, he spun away to face the kitchen wall adjacent from where Jean stood. He let go of the tension in his shoulders and allowed them to roll back.

“Armin, you okay?” Jean asked quietly as he naturally felt compelled to step forward and reach out. Upon contact, Armin proceeded to melt into the touch almost instantly. Jean, of course, was willing to support him—which he did by wrapping his firm arms around the top half of his body.

The sound of frustrated tears slipped into the cracks of near silence that fell upon the couple in the kitchen. They were all Armin’s. As soon as they would fall, he’d reach up with the back of his hand and wipe them away furiously. Jean chose not to mention them aloud—all he did was ask again if Armin was alright, and he hoped that that would suffice.

“Yeah…yeah, I’m fine I guess.” He finally said in a voice that half convinced Jean that he was being honest. “Let’s just…let’s just discuss this later, okay? I’ve got the rest of the salad to cut up and the living room to tidy up a bit, so…We can talk about this again when everyone’s gone home?” He turned back to his partner and gave him a smile, but the streaks the tears had left made it seem too forced and uneven. Jean nodded, though, just the same.

Slowly but surely, they went back to their individual busy work. And just a little bit later, their friends began to fill their home with love and laughter.


	6. Chapter Six

They couldn’t have asked for a better night—everything went exactly as planned, if not better. Jean couldn’t remember the last time he laughed so much, and Armin looked exceptionally happier upon being reunited with the friends he hadn’t seen in such a long time. During the evening, they ate and drank at their leisure, in a fashion that made them feel like they didn’t have a single care in the world. They had nice conversation about how everyone was doing, and what was going on for their friends wherever they were meant to be off jet-setting to next. It felt nice and natural to just sit down at a table and see each other face to face, that time flew by at an alarming rate.

And when the night was through, they both prided themselves in throwing the greatest reunion they could. Shortly after they started the first round of clean-up, they retired to bed together—not mentioning anything about Armin’s promise to “talk about things later”.

So when morning came far too early for Jean’s liking, he was surprised to find himself alone—completely alone, actually. Upon getting up reluctantly and looking around the flat, he noticed that Armin wasn’t anywhere. There was no note out on the counter, and no real sign that Armin had taken anything with him. The absence of his presence alone worried Jean to a great extent, but he had to remind himself that Armin was the boss of his own self, and maybe he just needed a little bit more time to process it all alone. He decided he’d give it an hour, and if he didn’t turn up back home by then, he would go out and look for him.

To pass the time, he made coffee and ate a little bit of something, and then proceeded to do more clean up. As he was drying off some serving dishes that were used last night, he heard the front door open, and Armin’s small voice call out.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t leave a note before I left, and I forgot to take my phone with me, of course…I just stepped out to get something really quick, I hope I didn’t worry you?” He said as he waltzed up to Jean and planted a kiss on his cheek. Jean shook his head no before returning the gesture. He glanced down to the plastic bag in Armin’s hand, and then gave a quizzical look.

“What do you got there?” He asked—it looked a bit rectangular, but it was hard to tell. Armin gave a small shrug in reply before he promptly tossed it onto the coffee table.

“I can show it to you after we get everything organised. Let me come help you with the dishes first.”

They stood together then, working alongside each other with the drying. It didn’t take long to straighten the apartment back out to its original state—it now looked as if a party with 13 plus people never even occurred there at all. By now, it was close to midday. Sun was streaming in through the windows and a cool breeze whisked the curtains around. Armin took immediately to the plastic bag he had discarded before, beckoning Jean with one finger to come and sit by him to look at its contents.

He handed it over to Jean when he took a seat on their living room loveseat. When he felt it in his hand, he could tell it was a book of some sort, and that something else was in the bag, too. “Why would you even get me something, Min? A gift for hosting the party with you, or--?”

“Technically, it’s something we both can enjoy, but…just take it out, I want to see what you think about it.” Armin crossed his legs together as he watched Jean remove the bag.

Now in Jean’s hands were two things—two things he was quite familiar with. A large, spiral sketch pad with thick pages made up the bulk of the gift, and a small tin of assorted pencils sat beside it. Jean was stunned into near silence as he held them, unsure of what to even say. While this was happening, Armin had expertly extracted the receipt away, which he had failed to take out before. He crumpled it up with just a squish of his hand, and then threw it across the room.

“Is…is this what you meant by talking about it later? You want me to….”

“To draw me, yes. Again.” And Armin sounded breathless when he said it. “I know it won’t be like before—not exactly, at least. And I know you’ve kind of put all of the art stuff behind you, in favour of your work and our home life, but, I just thought…I mean, I just…” He was struggling to get to what he really wanted to say, but he soon found his voice. “I was just thinking about how vivid that memory of us meeting is for you still, and—and I wanted to give you that feeling all over again…Kind of make it like we can fall in love once more, just as we did before, but this time, it’s different. We’re different.” He reached over and placed a hand on Jean’s thigh, before continuing. “You’re going to interpret me differently than you did that day so long ago—you’re going to look at me now and see a different Armin than the one you fell for then. And I want to be sure of this; I want you to see me.”

Jean looked to Armin’s serious, searing eyes and knew that falling in love with Armin all over again didn’t have to take drawing him for a second time—he had already done so, and would do it for the rest of his life. He was so certain of the spellbinding love Armin had for him, and a whole new appreciation for his partner’s devotion to his feelings. He only nodded yes to comply with Armin’s wish before opening the sketch book to the first page.

When Armin saw Jean’s willingness to proceed, he got a beautiful smile on his face that extended all the way up to his eyes. He looked so happy like that that Jean almost wished that could be the expression he’d be able to capture onto paper.

“Alright, good.” Armin said as he leaned forward, opening the box of pencils with one hand. He handed one to Jean, sharpened end first, and asked “Is here a good place to start?” He meant in the living room, on the couch.

Jean readied himself with the utensil and sat up straighter. Their smiles and giddy feelings mingled in the close proximity of the space between them, and it felt so good to be like this again.

More as a joke than anything, Jean chose to say “This isn’t your first time sitting for me and all, and you’ve heard me say it all before, but…hold still, alright?” before he launched into his drawing.

The faint blush across Armin’s cheeks and the smile it got out of him was enough to make Jean feel that at least, he could do this small thing for the man he loved most—and do it right.


End file.
